1. A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, he was told by the center's director that he was an acceptable candidate."That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a Democrat's brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a Democrat's brain?? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many Democrats we would have to kill?"

2. A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"
"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.
"And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?"
"The same exact thing," the guard answered.
"Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?"
"Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!"

3. Little johny went up to his dad and asked the real meaning of politics.his dad knew he was dumb and asked him to go to bed, he insisted and finally his dad told him, this is what he said.. "he called himself the capitalist as he was the earning member of the house,called his mother as the governer as she looked after the house in his absence, called little johnny the public as he would see everything going on,called the servant as the labourer and johnys little brother as the future of the country. This together fuctions in a sysytem and is known as politics." Johny was confused and said that he did not follow, He went to bed dissapointed, he was restless and went up to his dad again in the middle of the night, he went to his dads room but he wasnt there, he checked in his brothers room, he wasnt there too but he saw that his brother had shit in his nappy so he went to the servant quarter to ask his maid to clean the mess. There he saw his dad having sex with the maid, he saw everything and went back to sleep. Next morning on the breakfast table he told his dad that he now understood the meaning of politics. His dad asked him the meaning of it, this is what little johny said "CAPAILIST SCREWING THE LABOURER WHILE THE GOVERNER IS ASLEEP,PUBLIC IS WATCHING WHERE AS THE FUTURE OF THE COUNTRY IS IN THE SHIT POT."