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Have you ever wondered what
would be in "Titanic" if the same was made in Bollywood?
The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay".
Well here it goes!!
* Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as JJJJJ
JJJ Jack.Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters
"bad man" everytime he sees Shahrukh.
* Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's
captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party.
Of course, he would not die.
* Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas
from college plus 50 extras who are well trained with every
dance sequence in the world.
* The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece
of editing,there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of
30 in CD album.
* The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally
find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a slum
full of aam-janta. The ship will start sinking, not because
of the iceberg but because of excessive on-board population.
* The infamous lovemaking in the back seat of the car would
be replaced with a song in the Swiss Alps.
* Best friend of Shahrukh will save his sister from being raped
during chaos.The sister will instantly fall in love right after
this and she will also get a song or two.
* Remember Rose changing her mind about jumping into the water?
In our case,Madhuri changes her mind, since...since... the ship
is moving along a creek and the water stinks!
* How can we forget the painting scene? Shahrukh would be painting
Madhuri's portrait with Madhuri fully covered minus the locket
(Censors yaar!). This is to be followed by a dance number, with
extras of course, in a art gallery.
* Shahrukh would eventually find his long lost mom Aasoo Devi
on the ship.Only during the climax would Aasoo Devi tell Shahrukh
about how Gulshan troubled them. Shahrukh would then yell ,
"Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaoonga". The ensuing fight would
only last for an hour.
* There would be an antakshari for the "drowners" conducted
by Annu Kapoor instead of the trio playing the violin.
* Most important!! The number of times the word "Bachaoooo"
would be yelled would be a record in the history of cinema.And
the masterpiece would be waste of time...ooops waste of money
without...
* "Raaaabert...Captain se ja ke kaho ke agar apni maa or bahen
ko zinda dekhnachahte ho to naav ko Hindustaan kee sarhado se
hamesha hamesha ke liye bahoootdoor le le."
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